Dear me, 9 months ago,
I dimly remember making an Instagram post with the number of days until junior year is over, and – believe it or not – today is only 8 days away from D-Day. Since that day, 42 weeks ago, much has changed. As much as my brain is telling me to type, “Much has changed, all for the better,” my fingers hesitate because they know the statement to be false. So, “mostly” will have to do for now: much has changed, mostly for the better.
Like I said, things have definitely changed, but I don’t exactly know what. My mornings have slowly yet surely started later and later throughout the year. Certain cherished people have left and certain unexpected people came. I’ve gained a few more skills to put under my belt and I’ve learned to deal with a couple more unfamiliar situations. But, really, me-nine-months-ago, I fail to pinpoint what exactly has shifted so greatly.
And that’s the thing, me-nine-months-ago, things change. Things change a little too quickly, a little too constantly for my liking. That BFFF of yours (one extra ‘forever’ because s/he’s extra important) is moving out of the country for abrupt reasons. That one opportunity you’ve pondered about for weeks, it’s gone now, you never took it. But things have changed for the better too – quickly and constantly. That one time you did look past your fears, you’ve conquered them. That one friend you’ve made in your quick trip to Indonesia set important, long-term goals in your life – visions, as people call them.
Things change a little too quickly, a little too constantly for my liking. But while most would say, “Don’t be afraid of changes,” or “Make the best out of the changes,” I want to say, “Be grounded”. Be grounded in who you are; be grounded in the goals you have set; be grounded in what you know to be true, and don’t be shaken by the standards that others hastily put upon your life. Be grounded amid the ephemerality around you. You don’t have to travel down the same road as everyone else.
Maybe this is what changed, this realization right here… who knows.
You’re on the right track. Frankly, there never existed the one correct track to start with anyway. So keep doing what you’re doing, keep doing what you love to do – with the little passion you have. Keep putting effort into things even though the results seem too far away. And, finally, keep faking it ‘till you’re making it – after all, you came this far with that motto.
As you are legal in a little over a year, please try to expand your mental, interpersonal, psychological, and academic capabilities. And please put effort into acting like an adult.
See you soon!